This isn’t a poem or anything of that sort… I’m just writing.
I’ve been trying to stay away from these thoughts for so long, but ever since that dream I’ve been wondering why I blocked them. The dream seemed so real, or at least was something that I would long for and love - something that I miss so, so much.
I don’t know why I allowed myself to get in this mess. I can’t learn about life unless I experience it, I guess.
So I forgot why I stopped thinking about this part of my past and my present. All I could remember is how happy it had made me at the time, and how happy I felt dreaming. Well, dreams are not reality. Happiness in dreams does not mean happiness in wake.
I learned this by allowing myself to think those thoughts tonight. I didn’t think about you for long; it only took a minute for me to feel my heart ache, my stomach drop, my mind go weak.
It only took a minute for me to remember how unhappy you’ve made me, and how fake that happiness I felt with you was.